Brain Block

I will try to blog. Still grieving over Grandma’s death. I couldn’t bring myself to return to my routine. I felt like hibernating. I am not sure how to express my sadness by crying aloud. I have not been crying a loud since I was in primary school. Something just stopped me at that time.

Her gifts – box of beads, cranes and mandarin duck embroidery, though have gone, shall remain in my memory as the most precious skills and gifts.

On the final night
Waited on burning incense
Lighting one after another

In the early morning
Dark calm starless sky
As if it is mourning

She laid inside
Like in deep sleep
Resting peacefully

Why does sunlight
Rose so soon?
It broke my heart

She is going from
This home of ours
To her final destination

Morning light felt
Warm and serene
Soothing cool air

Is HE here?
Is HE with us?
Is she with HIM?

Beads, Paper Crane and Needle

Rusty metal box
Used to store chocolates
Now filled up with colourful beads

White piece of paper
Folded neatly and precisely
That forms an elegant white crane

Leading the way
Followed by threads
To form a pair of mandarin ducks

These were Grandma gifts
Though she did not have much
My treasures

Her Last Moment

Breathing great difficulty
Not responding at all
Liquid oozing from mouth

There was nothing
Anyone could do
Only HE could help her

Finally after hours
Had her last breathe
Eyes did not close

I can feel that moment
Still breaking my heart

That she had left
Not in happiness
Nor in peace

But with sadness
And tears
She went away

That was the moment
My heart shattered
Knees dropped on to floor

Called out to her
For the last time
But she was gone

Grandma’s Departure

Tonight
Grandma passed away
After suffering for some time
She is no longer in difficulty nor pain
She has gone to be with Grandpa

Looking back
Grandpa was alive
Grandma fought against her illness
He was afraid
She may be gone before him
He called out to her
Not to leave before him
He was afraid his beloved
Who was frail and fragile
May leave him and go to her God

Then
Grandpa died
Left Grandma stood at his funeral
She was heart broken
Though quiet and strong

Now
They are together
Like when they were alive
Through thick and thin
Through quarrels and sorrow
Through happiness and joy
Joined rest of the deceased
Family and friends

Countdown to Christmas: Spring Clean Home

My most feared and worried task. Spring clean once for Christmas, Will’s birthday and Chinese New Year. I am in dilemma what to do first ever since I had 2 kids. Before the kids, spring cleaning was therapy to chase away stress. I will try to list down what’s to be done first…..

Memory… Stealing corns

Fatty fatty bom bom

Curi curi jagung

Mata mata tangkap

Masuk dalam lokap

Source: NST 1-Oct-2006

What to offer to me on Ching Ming or Chinese All Souls Day

23.Sept.06 We took the boys to Dunkin Donut at Mid Valley for breakfast. Cinnamon and double chocolate are the only ones I would eat. As for three of them anything except what I am having will do. As I was looking at my would be 2-year old and would-be 4 year old, I told my other half…

Me: If I died and you guys do not have time (or capability?) to prepare me a lavish banquet to offer me, just buy me these cinnamon and double chocolate…

Other half: Ok, ok… (busy eating)

Me: If you guys offer me chicken rice or McDonalds, I will come back to haunt you all.

 Few years ago my mom (a Taoist) asked me if my sister in law is a Christian since she have never seen her offer jossstick. I mocked her,”If she is a Christian, either you and dad will be hungry ghosts or eating McDonalds during Ching Ming…”

My beloved grandfather passed away few years ago. I am very tempted to offer KFC, Domino Pizza or Pizza Hut’s Pizza to him. He loves fast food so much, he used to treat us-his grandchildren Pizza Hut. He lived till 93.

Princess or Maid

My sister in law is expecting to deliver her “accidental” baby after Chinese New Year. I told my niece that she better hope for another baby brother instead.

Me: Wen, do you want a brother or a sister?

Wen: I want a sister, no more brother like Chong (her sibling)

Me: You better pray hard you’ll have a baby brother.

Wen: Why????

Me: Coz, if you get a baby sister, your room will be halved, then you will only have one brother and as the eldest sister, you will need to look after both of them like a maid.

Wen: What if I get a baby brother???

Me: You will be a princess coz you are the only daughter… (everyone laughed except Wen still confused..)

My parents have a son and three daughters. Three of us served our eldest brother like maids. It worth while to make Wen learn of the princess and the maid roles

Hello world!

I live in a “lovely” neighbourhood in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia. Lovely if you can get use to the environment and people or else it may seems to be another “slum”. It took me 4 years to get used and appreciate. This is where my beloved other half grew up.

Why butanokakuni.wordpress.com?

My other half and I had a dish named Kakuni in an izakaya at Plaza Hartamas which was very delicious BUT the portion and the price is exorbitant. At that time, the portion is about 1″(W)x1″(L)x1″(H), cost RM7!! We like Kakuni very much and I am still trying to cook a Kakuni as good as the izakayas’.

Have a look what Kakuni is at Obachan’s sweet website http://kokonuggetyumyum.blogspot.com/2006/05/buta-no-kakuni.html